... I went to work and it was such a wonderful feeling to see that all of my patients are still alive. I was quite worried about this lady with leukaemia & neutropenia, and wasn't sure if she would made it through the weekend, but she did :)
This is probably the hardest thing about medicine (for me anyway), as sometimes, no matter what you do; give them 24 hours care, connect them to the most amazing monitors, with ten billions drugs at hands, if someone has to go, they go ...
I shall have another "unknown" moment tomorrow, when I go into the ward, and scan the list of patients, seeing if the usual names are still up there. There is a patient who we are worried about tonight. Contacting the family was heartbreaking this afternoon, as they wanted some definite news from you (ie. will she make it through tonight?). Everyone tried to be reasonable, but in their voices, there was a trace of hope, praying that you would say something positive ...
