Carol Ann Duffy ...

... is a poet who I read when I was a teenager, and I adored her ... But I haven't come across her again until today, when I found "Rapture" in a tiny bookshop at South Kensington. It was captivating, mostly in its simplicity and heart-aching beauty ...

World
"On the other side of the world,
you pass the moon to me,
like a loving cup,
or a quaich,
I roll you the sun.

I go to bed,
as you are getting up
on the other side of the world.
You have scattered the stars
towards me here, like seeds

in the earth.
All through the night,
I have sent you
bunches, bouquets of cloud
to the other side of the world;

so my love will be shade
where you are,
and yours,
as I turn in my sleep,
the bud of a star."

Give
"Give me, you said, on our very first night,
the forest. I rose from the bed and went out,
and when I returned, you listened, enthralled,
to the shadowy story I told.

Give me the river,
you asked the next night, then I'll love you forever.
I slipped from your arms and was gone,
and when I came back, you listened, at dawn,
to the glittering story I told.

Give me, you said, the gold
from the sun. A third time, I got up and dressed,
and when I came home, you sprawled on my breast
for the dazzling story I told.

Give me
the hedgerows, give me the fields.
I slid from the warmth of our sheets,
and when I returned, to kiss you from sleep,
you stirred at the story I told.

Give me the silvery cold
of the moon. I pulled on my boots and coat,
but when I came back, moonlight on your throat
outshone the pale story I told.

Give me, you howled,
on our sixth night together, the wind in the trees.
You turned to the wall as I left,
and when I came home, I saw you were deaf
to the blustering story I told.

Give me the sky, all the space
it can hold. I left you, the last night we loved,
and when I returned, you were gone with the gold,
and the silver, the river, the forest, the fields,
and this is the story I've told."

Albert Camus ...

... When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him; and you are torn by the thought of the unhappiness and night you cast, by the mere fact of living, in the hearts you encounter.

~ one of the most intense philosophers from the West, but with some original ideas and to-the-point analysis of human natures (albeit towards the dark side) ...

The kite runner ...

... by Khaled Hosseini is a pretty amazing book. Every page spurs you onto the next, but it is an intense and emotionally draining run. It is about a Pashtun boy (Amir) and his relationship with his father (Baba) and childhood Hazaran "friend" (Hassan), set in the turbulent time of Afghanistan. It is about about love that doesn't count the costs, about the haunting nature of unforgettable memory, about the everyday sweetness of an innocent childhood, about years of hidden secrets, about forgiveness to others and yourself, about goods vs evils ... One of the most touching aspects of the book is that despite how flawed each character is, there is so much goodness in them, so much capacity to love, and how hard they try to love, to be good ... Some people think that it is a book about redemption (to rectify a mistake, "a way to be good again"), but if one bases the sole motivation of Amir bringing Sohrab back to America on that, it lessens the importance of the act. Ultimately, there is more at work than gulit in ones' live ~ our human desire for kindness and love, to bring joy and happiness to those around us, and maybe even a "for you, a thousand times over" person ...

Hope ...

... is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune ~ without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
~ Emily Dickinson

Sometimes, we all need something to hold onto ... but I adore the last sentence ~ hope never demands anything from us, but faith in those around you, in the world, in goodness, in love and ultimately, in God ...

being happy ...

... is kinda strange, or to be precise, people's perception of your happiness. This week, I got voted as the happiest house-officer at my hosptial and had a call from my old SHO (my immediate boss) who was really sweet and said that "thank you for being so happy". I was speechless on both occasions, as the last 7 months has probably been one of the hardest time I have ever experienced (those of you who know me will say that I have a easy life, but there you are). The interesting thing is that there is nothing I can pinpoint as the precipitating cause, although many factors can be identified as perpetuating factors ... somehow, I was just lost in the midst of my hectic life, drifting along, and not quite sure what is going on ...

... it is not that I am depressed, or sad, and most days, I am content, but deep within, a clouds has descended into my horizon, with rainy showers every once-in-a-while to obscure the view ... Yet, as one of my friends said that you only learn when you are challenged ... and I have gained alot along the way, about responsibilty, myself, my weakness, my faith, what matters, what I want, what I don't want, the reality, the world with all its goodness and sadness ... and there is still so much to learn ... In a way, some would argue that you can only truly embrace happiness, when you know what is on the other side of the rainbow ...