... for me , at the moment, beside "how are you?", is "why are you not with someone?". I am literally being asked that every other day, by everyone, from work, friends, random strangers ... To be honest, I don't know either ...
There has been people I like since my last relationship, but I am not motivated enough to do anything about it. Since starting clinical school, I have seen a lot of cases outside my usual life experience. The other day, I met a 40 years old alcoholic. You may think it is very common at A&E, and it is, but he was different. He was very well-kept, and I can imagine him to be a friend of mine, twenty years down the line. He has recently turned to alcohol, with his marriage breaking down and being made redundant (not entirely sure the cause and effect here). I contacted his parents about his discharge. His parents, however, refused to let him inside the home, and he was distraughted when he answered the phone.
I am not making any judgement, as it must be very difficult for his parents, since he can become violent when he is drunk, but it does make you question. When you are young, there are certain things in life you take as granted, and love is one of those things. You believe that some people will love you unconditionally, but as you grow older, you realise that it is not true ... it is one of those rare gifts in life. I have seen some beautiful relationships too, but most of the times, I fear that this gift will not be bestowed onto me, and hence, the reluctance to get involved, to become vulnerable, to be hurt ...
