Reinhold Niebuhr says ...

Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.

... such a hope ... especially late at night, when you worry and worry, with regrets upon regrets about things you could have said, or done, or at least attempted to do, it is comforting to know that there is always hope of forgiveness ...

If ...

... I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.
~ Claudia Ghandi

Beautiful for a summer evening ~ let your thoughts wander as you walk and walk ...

Moon River ...

... "Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me ...

from "Breakfast at Tiffany" ... I have read the book and the film is kinda different to it, but still pretty awesome ...

Some of my favourite romantic films: Amelie, Annie Hall, Before sunset-after sunrise, Casablanca, Cyrano de Bergerac, Emma, Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, Manhattan, Notting Hill, Sliding doors, The English Patients, Wuthering Heights (B&W) ... & of course, Breakfast at Tiffany ... that is the list for now ...

5 Sept 07: I have to add "The science of sleep" and "Truly, madly, deeply". The later combines cello and poetry ... do I need to say anymore?

21 Sept 07: "Atonement, Atonement, Atonement" - absolutely gorgeous ... also, I forgot "Shadowland" ...

19 Jan 08: "Brief encounter" - British rail, doctor, honours ...

23 Feb 08: "An affair to remember" and "sleepless in Seattle" allow Empire State Building to take on a whole different meaning ...

26 Feb 08: "Once" - if you have ever wanted a piano, lived in the land of possibility, and having love so close within your grasp, you cannot not fall in love with it ...

8 May 08: "Serendipity" - with Love in the time of Cholera, the cube game and lots of coincidences ... but "Sabrina" is just awesome; Paris, falling in love unawarely ...

2008: "Wall-E" and Eve ... the scene of him holding an umbrella over her after she went "quiet" is so tender that is beyond words ...

31 July 09: "The Reader" - an intense love affair, with lots of hidden and unexplained secrets, but it does involve reading aloud classic literature ...

6 Oct 09: "Up" is a Pixar movie, a love letter from a husband to his beloved wife, illustrating Erikson's last stage of human development - "Integrity verse Despair" with balloons, dreams, and broken promises ...

11 July 09: "Bright Star" has poets, letters, doomed love affairs, English summer, lavenders ...

3 August 10: "Inception" is beyond amazing; dreams, delusions, growing old ...

18 August 10: "Ponyo" is an animation, and a little sugary, but it does have a mermaid, the sea, and innocence ...

8 Oct 10: "The secret in their eyes" (El Secreto De Sus Ojos) is beautiful with "Te Mo" to "Te A Mo" ...

30 Oct 10: "Secuestro express" is utterly compelling with its moral ambiguities, in a background of social injustice ...

4 Jan 2011: "Catfish" is an alternative sad love story in the facebook world ...

21 Jan 2011: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons" is about death, ageing, love within a paradigm, things lost and found along the way ...

21 Sept 2011: "Nuovo cinema Paradiso" is a homage to film, full of nostalgia for the past, as it views all that have been lost through a magical lens ... 

11 Dec 2011: "In the moon of love" longing to be loved, to be understood, to be held ...

13 Jan 2012: The scene of he and she meeting on the staircase from "The Artist" is breathtaking ...

4 August 2012: ""Umberto D" is not straightly a romantic film but for me it is probably a poignant love letter to a battered life in its own strange little way ...

18 November 2012: "La peau douce" (The soft skin/Silken Skin) is about the devastating consequence of an affairs of the heart ... 

22 Nov 2012: "De rouille et d'os" (Rust and bone) is about finding love within yourself, in others and at the most unlikely places when things seem hopeless ... 

a trip down memory lane ...

... was my experience at good old Cam the other day ... I think it was the first time I have properly visited Cam since I left four years ago ... I walked past so many places which held dear memories for me ~ Lensfield Road, Downing, Cafe Rouge, Christ's Piece; seeing my old anatomy tutor back in the dissection room, listening to his talk to prospective students in our old anatomy lecture hall ... the formaldehyde smell still hit you when you open the door ...

It really bought home as to how different you have become ... Changes happen subtlety; whether you want it to, or not. Revisiting places makes you realise what you have lost and gained. Ultimately, people come and go, but as the song in Wicked said;
"That people come into our lives for a reason,
Bringing something we must learn, and we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return"

We can only pray that we have been changed for good ... and for those we have lost, we can always remember all the happiness they have created in our lives, all the goodness they have bought into our worlds, and all the ideas and thoughts they have generated in our heads ...

One thing I do know for certain is that 6 years of medical school has taught me something, as I can finally understand and answer the anatomy questions my old tutor asked! (confession: they were really simple, but hey, it is a start! :)

To those of you who read my blog: A few of you have mentioned the depressing nature of my blog ~ thank you for still reading my little blog, despite the not-so-cheerful content. I don't know why it is so sad sometimes, but I have had a lot on my mind this year, and it reflects that. Writing a blog is ultimately self-indulging, as I can write whatever I like, and I know there is 1/2 people out there who will be reading it :) So, a big thank you to whoever you are ...

finding out ...

... stuffs is always interesting, but to find something out via an unexpected source (ie. A tells me about B) can actually be quite upsetting. The seeds of doubt are now planted, as you no longer know where you stand, since you cannot comprehend why the people involved never told you themselves directly. Your mind starts to wander and wander and wander ... and somehow you end up being so tangled up that the only course of action you can think of is to avoid them and to expect nothing in return ...

It is a protective mechanism and maybe, just maybe, there is a hint of punishing someone here, since cutting someone out of your live is blatant and cruel ...

So I am not sure what to do ... but to accept what we cannot change/turn the clock back, is one of the hardest things on earth ...