India ...

... is definitely one of the most fascinating countries I have ever visited ... it was just so different; the people (always smiling, no matter what they are facing), the crowdiness (I will always remember the Sunday market outside Jama Masjid), the slowness (my sister called it "Indian Stretch Time"), the chaos (you do as they say, not by the rules), the randomness (haggling involves asking for 50% off original price --> walking away --> the shopkeeper calling you back and selling it at your price but with 50 rupees extra --> more head shaking --> deal closed), the poverty (a child offered to jump into a crazy waterfall for 50 rupees: 60p), the sense of hope (they will knock and knock on a car window for some changes), the sense of desperation (homes made out of cupboards, sheets of fabric) ...

It does have some awesome architectures (Taj Mahal, Agar Fort, Hawa Mahal, Humayan Tomb etc), interesting history (Mughal emperors, Hindi kings, British Indian Company, Gandhi, Pakistan), a certain degree of religious tolerance (from an outsider's point of view, although I have no doubt that it is debatable), exotic food (way tooooo spicy for me, but prawn curry at United Coffee House is awesome!), creative modes of transports (I have been on an elephant, a camel, a horse, a rickshaws, an auto, a very slow slow moving train, a bumpy 40 seats plane) and the most amazing massage ever (although it did involve a lot of flours and hot oils?!?!?)

I have also observed my own family in close quarter (I have not spent more than 5 days with my family in one go since 2003), got to know my brother-in-law, learned a tremendous amount about myself and having my habits and views challenged.

Rabindranath Tagore wrote a poem on Taj Mahal ~

"You know Shah Jahan,
life and youth, wealth and glory,
they all drift away in the current of time.
You strove therefore, to perpetuate only the sorrow of your heart
... Let the splendour of diamond, pearl and ruby vanish,
... Only let this one tear-drop,
this Taj Mahal glisten spotlessly bright
on the cheek of Time for ever and ever.
.... Oh king, you sought to harm time
with the magic of beauty and weave garland
that would blind formless death with deathless form...
This mausoleum stands still and unmoving in its place."

Never let me go ...

... is the title of a book by Kazuo Ishiguro and was very popular about a year or so ago ... I suppose we are all trying to find someone who will hold onto us, who will never never let us go, who are our anchors, stopping us from being swept away by this world. Yet, sometimes, as Tommy said in the book; "I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end, it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart. That's how I think it is with us. It's a shame, Kath, because we've loved each other all our lives. But in the end, we can't stay together forever".

The desperation, the helplessness ... summaries so well of life in London ...

In the book, there is this idea of Norfolk being a lost corner, where all the lost property found in the world goes to ... If only such places do exist on this earth, so that "when we lost something precious, and we'd looked and looked and still couldn't find it, then we don't have to be completely heartbroken. We still had the last bit of comfort, thinking one day, when we were grown up, and we were free to travel around the country, we could always go and find it again in Norfolk".

This is, however, a dangerous ground to tread on, as during the process, we develop ways to cope with our losses; pretending, devaluing, decentralising, replacing ... and eventually, we do not even recognise the tremendous darkness of our losses ...