sympathy ...

... was what I was reminded of yesterday. I have been really puzzled recently, as I had two patients who have to stay for an extra few days at hospital, because they were waiting for investigations or were not well enough to be discharged. They were both quite upset about it, and kept on saying "I am not happy". I actually got quite fed up with them, as they made me feel really bad (ie. I have let them down as a doctor), but there was no other way I could change the situation.

Anyway, I talked to a mate about it, and he was liked - they did not want you to apologise, but to empathise and understand what they are going through. Sometimes, as doctors, we tend to focus on what we can do, wanting to solve the problems at hand, instead of staying still and listen ...

Furnael blues ...

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

~ W. Auden ...

the wedding singer ...

... a musical I caught today at Broadway and this song was sung ... listening to it makes finding someone and growing old together seems so simple, so possible ... it reminds me of a patient of mine with Parkinson. I will always remember the sun rays shinning through his room, his wife by his side, holding his hands and talking, cherishing their times together ...

[Robbie]
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, and even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you.

[Robbie & Julia]
I'll miss you, kiss you, take your shoes off and rub your feet.
Need you, feed you, and when we play checkers i'll let you cheat.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the one who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.

New york ...

... is a place where you associated with being hectic, so busy that you cannot breath. Yet, for some strange reasons, this holiday is one at which I feel completely at peace and refreshed. (Okay, it is true that I have been doing a lot of travelling - went down to washington on an overnight train for a 16 hours stay! It meant that I had a lot of time to think and listen to my ipod!)

But because I have been to New York 2 years earlier, I don't feel like that I have to go everywhere and check everything out!!! Also, my friend is one of those mega-chilled people, and she just looks after me (so I don't have to use my brain much!) ... hopefully, by next Sunday, when I reconnect with my London life, I will still be at peace and more within it (than I was when I left London!).

anyway ...

... from Mother Teresa, absolutely beautiful ...

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may Accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final end,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Prospeso's farewell ...

... from The Tempest ... I randomly read it on the tube and it is beautiful ...

"Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep"