... (the day before the year actually ends!) ... 2006 has been an interesting year. The first half was spent in the library, absorbing medical knowledge which I still do not have, cutting out all social contacts, being amused with boredom ... then I graduated ... the second half began with travelling, meeting some amazing people, having responsibilties first time in my life, and facing deaths and suffering, knowing that I still do not cope well, and hoping some miracles will happen, taking away those agonies, kissing away those tears ...
... for now, my coping strategy involves sleeping, putting space between the day and myself ...
30 December 2006
21 December 2006
being ill ..
... must be my subspeciality ... Since August, I have been ill three times ... all of my colleagues know of my TB style cough (it took me 3 weeks to get rid of it and when I coughed, all of the patients would stop complaining about their problems and just stared at me).
Yesterday, on my day off, I developed something which I don't even know what it is called. I just couldn't function (maybe that is what people meant what they said that they are "generally unwell"). I even cancelled a sushi dinner :( and slept over 19 hours and today, I am not great, but at least, definitely smiling!
Yesterday, on my day off, I developed something which I don't even know what it is called. I just couldn't function (maybe that is what people meant what they said that they are "generally unwell"). I even cancelled a sushi dinner :( and slept over 19 hours and today, I am not great, but at least, definitely smiling!
17 December 2006
most frequently asked question ...
... for me , at the moment, beside "how are you?", is "why are you not with someone?". I am literally being asked that every other day, by everyone, from work, friends, random strangers ... To be honest, I don't know either ...
There has been people I like since my last relationship, but I am not motivated enough to do anything about it. Since starting clinical school, I have seen a lot of cases outside my usual life experience. The other day, I met a 40 years old alcoholic. You may think it is very common at A&E, and it is, but he was different. He was very well-kept, and I can imagine him to be a friend of mine, twenty years down the line. He has recently turned to alcohol, with his marriage breaking down and being made redundant (not entirely sure the cause and effect here). I contacted his parents about his discharge. His parents, however, refused to let him inside the home, and he was distraughted when he answered the phone.
I am not making any judgement, as it must be very difficult for his parents, since he can become violent when he is drunk, but it does make you question. When you are young, there are certain things in life you take as granted, and love is one of those things. You believe that some people will love you unconditionally, but as you grow older, you realise that it is not true ... it is one of those rare gifts in life. I have seen some beautiful relationships too, but most of the times, I fear that this gift will not be bestowed onto me, and hence, the reluctance to get involved, to become vulnerable, to be hurt ...
There has been people I like since my last relationship, but I am not motivated enough to do anything about it. Since starting clinical school, I have seen a lot of cases outside my usual life experience. The other day, I met a 40 years old alcoholic. You may think it is very common at A&E, and it is, but he was different. He was very well-kept, and I can imagine him to be a friend of mine, twenty years down the line. He has recently turned to alcohol, with his marriage breaking down and being made redundant (not entirely sure the cause and effect here). I contacted his parents about his discharge. His parents, however, refused to let him inside the home, and he was distraughted when he answered the phone.
I am not making any judgement, as it must be very difficult for his parents, since he can become violent when he is drunk, but it does make you question. When you are young, there are certain things in life you take as granted, and love is one of those things. You believe that some people will love you unconditionally, but as you grow older, you realise that it is not true ... it is one of those rare gifts in life. I have seen some beautiful relationships too, but most of the times, I fear that this gift will not be bestowed onto me, and hence, the reluctance to get involved, to become vulnerable, to be hurt ...
06 December 2006
Lewis Carroll ....
... One of the secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others.
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