Wordsworth ...

... And, when the stream
Which overflowed the soul was passed away,
A consciousness remained that it had left,
Deposited upon the silent shore
Of memory, images and precious thoughts
That shall not die, and cannot be destroyed.

revision panic ...

... has finally descended. I was reading The Times about a wife witnessing her husband's sudden death. He died from a very rare heart condition (hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy), and instead of reading the moving account, I sat on the tube, trying to figure out the symptoms and signs for HOCM?! (For the medics amoung you: jerky carotid pulse, double apical pulsation - yes, that one!)

Then, I saw myself on the CCTV and wondered "who is that girl with the same hair and bag as me?"

Do I need to say any more? Only 6 days to go until finals kick off ...

a hole ...

... was found in my umberlla today when London was bathing in rain. I have been happily using it, shading me from the rain, without realising its existence. There are also posters "We need to talk" (promoting the book "We need to talk about Kevin") all over the tube. Somehow, they become connected in my little brain and got me thinking. In our society today, we value "talking", "expressing our emotions" etc tremendously, but is it possible for us to over-express ourselves? ie. by focusing our energy so much on the problem, we become lost within its mist, and maybe even drown in it ...

Of course, as the advert said "it is good to talk", but maybe it will be better to talk about the positive things. As for the negatives, maybe somehow, they will flow away or become less important, if we begin to see the goodness around us, even the rain can be refreshing.

what to wear ...

... is usually a question one thinks for dates etc, but there is a current debate among the medical students as to whether they should wear a suit to the practical exam. I don't know whether the debate is just an other subtle manifestation of the current panic which has descended among us. Personally I won't wear a suit, as I don't want to?!?! (is that a good enough reason?) To be honest, being a sheep, I shall probably change my mind in 3 weeks' time (when it comes to the crunching point!) Sometimes, it is sad how "unprinicipled" I am/can become ...

goodness and "nice" ...

... is there any difference betweeh them? For me, they are worlds apart, in that I know a lot of "nice people" but they are not necessarily "good". You can be "nice" for lots and lots of reasons, but for me, being "good" means that you have no alternative motive for your actions. It always seem so hard to find people who are good within ... (I know that "nice" is an overused words etc, but we won't enter that argument).

"Unless" by Carol Shields deals with the issues of goodness superbly.

catching ...

... a star would have been fun last night. Or something slightly less impossible, a flick (X-men is out in 2 weeks' time!), but instead, I caught the wrong bus, went in the completely opposite direction, and to top it off, I didn't realise until we reached the end terminal. You will be pleased to hear that I was actually going home, via a route which I have taken at least 10 times ...

hmm, where is there to say? but ... hmm ...

so peaceful it is ...

… to sit in an empty church, listening, with all of your worries slowly wash away.

green party ...

... again didn't manage to win a seat at our local election, but its support is nearly doubled (5.1%) since 2002!

seeing friends ...

... is getting so difficult! A friend from my Cambridge days emailed yesterday and it has been two and a half years since I last saw her. We were very good mates (she lived upstairs to me), and I will always remember those times we spent over broken relationships, exam stress, gossip, "what to wear to dates/balls" etc ... oh, she also cooked wicked meals!!!

In a way, this is the kind of friendship I missed the most, since I moved to London and lived on my own. Someone who knows your day-to-day life, the ups-and-downs. Even with my closet friends in London (beside fellow medics, who are embarking on the "finals" journey), I only see them once every 3-4 weeks, I suppose everyone is busy; working, cleaning the house, meeting the one, expanding the mind, breathing in essential oxygen and absorbing the luxurious sunshines, to cope in this big big world for another day :)

illegal immigrants ...

… has always been one of those issues which I really puzzle about. What happened in America recently has really triggered my thoughts. There are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of having illegal immigrants. I think no one will deny in that they are a vital component of our economy, and have definitely enriched our society culturally. Yet, where do we draw the line? Beside the fact that they are in a country illegally, how much does one expect them to integrate into our culture? (I know that the Bush administration has proposed something at a completely different level to what I am writing about here.) We go aboard to experience something different, but when the same people create their own communities within “our” country, we feel that they are not integrating. If we look back in history, when the West went to Egypt, Africa, Asian etc, they bought their way of living with them completely, and we called that “civilisation”. Just look at India! For a lot of people, their identities are closely tied with their religion, language and culture.


I have talked to a few people about policy on immigration, and it seems an impossible question to answer. People will always strive for a better, safer place to live, to work, to experience life, and who are we to stop them achieving their dreams? Doesn’t living in a country with infinite opportunities give us an responsibility to provide and stand up for those who do not?

Your thoughts on this issue are most welcomed.

green & black ...

have been eating them non-stop since February, and I found my favourite one yesterday: almond milk chocolates (think I have tried every single one, except for 70% dark!

asking someone out ...

... must be one of the hardest things on earth ... of course, not in the real sense, as it is "avoidable" (ie. you don't have to do it, unlike exams, tax returns forms, making decisions about life, belief, parting with/from those you love ...). There is always the possibility that the other person may take the first step before you do, and thus, involving no action from you.

I am always really puzzled when friends ask you what they should do. The positive side of me always say "go for it, as you don't want any regrets" etc etc. Yet, part of me always feel unsure ...

Some of us live in reality, whereas the rest of us live in the "what if" dreams ...