Food ...

Today, I decided to write a really silly entries about food that I like ... to be honest, noone will be interested but it is kind of fun to make piles and piles of lists, which no one will read, except yourself a few years down the line ... always interesting to note how one has changed and the constancy in oneself can be reassuring too ...

So here it goes:
 sushi in any form, except Octopus ones ... (and also unsure about all the raw and exotic fishes which I haven't tried)
 tempura - how can anyone say "no" to that?!?
 pasta in pretty much any sauce ~ I haven't found one which I don't like, but my favourite is probably spaghetti wrapped in a paper, with seafood and tomato sauce (I should pretend to be posh and use its Italian name, but sadly, my Italian is limited to "Ciao") ...
 noodles - fried, in big swimmingly bowl, with way too much sauce (yep, some of you have seen me eating this one, and looked on in disbelief!), Pad Thai ... I can literally survive on noodles ...
 dim-sum ~ except chicken feet ... some people will say that I am not Chinesey enough, but I just hate that thing ...
 Shanghai cuisine & peking duck
 chips ... sometimes, I just have to have it, no matter what I am having for the main course ... I quite like steaks & burgers too, especially when it is cold and rainy outside ...
 chocolates, especially Green & Black Almonds ~ definitely saw me through finals!
 ice-creams; Hagen Daze ~ I love to indulge myself at Hagen Daze at Leicester Square (I think I have taken most of my friends there!) ... the thought of walking in there with soooo many ice-cream to choose from is just sooo comforting ~ it is a bit liked Tiffany to Holly Golightly, although that is way more classy!
 tea - absolutely adore it, earl grey, lady grey, strawberries, mint, mango, green, apple, jasminie etc etc, but I don't like Bush tea ... hmm ... and proper chinese tea (way too strong!)
 cakes, of course chocolates one, closely followed by carrot cakes, cookies, banana bread, flap-jacks ... I also like crumbles ... basically, I will never say "no" to desert, unless it is sour!?!?
 fishes - again, any kind, unless they are too meaty or bony ... also, love lobster, crab, prawns ... basically most seafood, except octopus & squid - I don't like chewy stuffs!
 soups - I really like Covent Garden ones ~ it has recently become one of my stable diet during on-call, for lunch, and if I am too tired to cook ...
 curries as long as it is not spicy; Indian, Thai, Japanese, Chinese ...

Basically, I eat everything ... just in case that you are planning to cook for me :)

May 2012
A slight update, as I have become a pescatarian since June last year.   I actually can still eat most food on the list, except for peking duck and certain dim sum ... These are some foods I have found along the way ...
 Butter squash and cranberries, courtesy of Whole Food
 Quinoa salad
 Frozen yoghurt with lots and lots of toppings
 A prawn dish at Gambia ... the chef at the hotel felt sorry for my pescatarian status and just cooked me this gorgeous dish out of the blue!

Is love enough?

... is a question I have been reflecting on recently ... if you have asked me about it a month ago, I would have echoed the whole room with a resounding "yes" ... but recently, I have had my doubts. One of the most fascinating aspects of psychiatry is that you are constantly confront with real life, but sometimes, the pains involved can be more than one can bear ...

I was on-call the other day, and at around 5am, I was bleeped by A&E about another overdosed patient (it is staggering the number of overdoses we see a day, so many unhappy people out there). Maybe it is the early morning - everything seems surreal in the hospital around that time ... but my joyful feeling zipped out of me the moment I laid eyes on her ... Yet, no matter how they make you feel, they are patients at the end of the day, so the psychatiry interview began ...

My patient overdosed on 40 antixiolytic, her 2nd attempts in less than 2 months. She adores her husband and children, and worries and loves were clearly written on their faces when they came to see her in the morning ... But all these are not enough to hold her back from the brim of darkness which has descended among her ... maybe sometimes, love is just not enough ... maybe William Somerset Maugham is right when he said "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned." ...

understanding those around you ...

... are difficult and I was talking about it to a friend today (well, I was ranting and he was listening!) ... We all aspire to understand our friends, our families, our loved ones, but can we? The amazing thing about being a Psychiatrist is that you gain access into people's lives and minds; they will tell you things which no one else knows; good and bad things (although to be honest, it is mainly the latter) painful events which happened in the past, unrequited love, their fears, their dreams ... sometimes, you talk to those closet to the patients, and they would not have a clue ... the patient could be ill for ages, and they would not have noticed or knew ...

That is not because they do not care, but how much we understand someone depends on how much the other person is willing to reveal ... and also, depends on our past experience, knowledge and emotions, as together, they will affect our ability to interpret the other person's actions, ideas, and ultimately our understanding of them ...

Alas, "If each man or woman could understand that every other human life is as full of sorrows, or joys, or base temptations, of heartaches and of remorse as his own . . . how much kinder, how much gentler he would be (~ William Allen White)” will be a good starting point.

Pablo Neruda ...

... I am going through one of my phases which I start to get obsessed with a poet ... this is another peom by Pablo Neruda which I love ... now I wish that I have paid more attention during my Spanish lesson, instead of getting a "D" in my GCSE mock and all I can say is "Hola. Me ilamo Carol. Vivo en Londres" ... it must be absolutely stunning in Spanish ...

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

The Dead Woman ...

... by Pablo Neruda, is a poem quoted in "Truly, Madly, Deeply", which pretty much sums up this bittersweet film ....

"If suddenly you do not exist,
if suddenly you no longer live,
I shall go on living.

I do not dare,
I do not dare to write it,
if you die.

I shall go on living.

For where a man has no voice,
there, my voice.

Where blacks are beaten,
I cannot be dead.
When my brothers go to prison
I shall go with them.

When victory,
not my victory,
but the great victory
comes,
even though I am mute I must speak;
I shall see it come even though I am blind.

No, forgive me.
If you no longer live,
if you, beloved, my love,
if you
have died,
all the leaves will fall in my breast,
it will rain on my soul night and day,
the snow will burn my heart,
I shall walk with frost and fire and death and snow,
my feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping, but
I shall stay alive,
because above all things
you wanted me indomitable,
and, my love, because you know that I am not only a man
but all mankind."